• Thaisa Matias de Paula

Why You Should Raise Your Standards

Updated: Feb 5

I've been reflecting on what I settled for in the last year of my life, and a lot of it was BS. Not just from other people but also from myself. And that can be a tough pill to swallow, but change doesn't come from ignoring the hard stuff.

Our lives are a reflection of what we settle for, and how we show up in the world.

People only treat us poorly if we allow them to. We'll only have mediocre relationships if we tolerate it. We'll only have a mediocre job if we settle for it.

I think we tolerate mediocrity because having something, even if it's not great, feels safer than having nothing. But we must remember that excellence comes from our willingness to take the leap of faith, to let go of the certainty and comfort of what we already have, in order to reach for the endless possibilities of the unknown.

It's also easier to settle for less, because it requires less of us. We get what we give, so in order to get exceptional things in life, you get to be exceptional yourself. And by exceptional I don't mean perfect - perfectionism is a fools game. Simply do your best with the knowledge that is available to you right now, and forgive yourself when you don't.

I did an eye opening journaling exercise in which I wrote down what I want my future relationship to look like. After writing about this ideal relationship, I rated how much of that I was/did myself in my previous relationship. Truth is, I did not show up in a lot of the ways I wanted to receive. It's an interesting paradox in which it's hard to give what you feel like you're not getting, but if you don't, then you also won't receive it. It takes courage and effort to be a change agent and set the bar high. Greatness is scary because it takes commitment, it takes showing up fully. Mediocrity requires way less of us, but is that what we really want?

As always, we must look at ourselves first instead of pointing fingers. Where in your life are you allowing below satisfactory behaviors? Often our words are not in integrity and alignment with our actions, which means we're tolerating our own stories and excuses. What you tolerate sets the tone for how other's will treat you, and that's where boundaries come in.

If you're sitting around thinking there's no excellent friends out there, no excellent relationships, no excellent jobs, all it means is that you're not taking responsibility for being that person yourself. There is no scarcity. Abundance is all around us, we just get to match our vibration to attract it.

To finish off this post, I want to invite you to do a journaling exercise with me. Write down all the things that you have been tolerating in your life. Perhaps a job that doesn't fulfill you, living conditions that don't feel right to you, a mediocre relationship, laziness... Whatever it is, write it down, so that you can begin to create actionable steps to change this reality.

Feel free to reach out to me to share any of your insights!

Our life is what we make it up to be.

With Love,


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