• Thaisa Matias de Paula

The Power of Communication and How To Strengthen Your Skills

Effectively communicating is a key component in building healthy and lasting relationships. People can't read our minds, so it's up to us to clearly communicate our needs if we want them to be met!



After a year navigating a challenging relationship, I've come to understand how important it is to clearly communicate every step of the way in order to build an authentic and solid foundation. Although it can feel easier (and at times even safer!) to avoid certain conversations, covering up emotions and hiding your truth usually ends up blowing up in your face.


I used to avoid conflict like it was the plague, and that led me to walk around constantly feeling anxious about the unspoken emotional build up. But I should never have to feel like it's not safe to express myself, and neither should you! Sacrificing your truth in order to feel loved and validated is a slippery slope, where no one ends up feeling truly seen.


As with all things in life, communication is a skill that can be developed with patience and commitment. It didn't come easy for me and I'm still learning everyday, but it's now starting to become like second nature to honestly and fiercely communicate.


So that you can also thrive in your relationships, I'll share 4 steps that have worked for me in becoming a badass communicator:


1. Be honest with yourself

It's very hard to be honest with others when you can't even be honest with yourself. We often bypass our emotions in the hopes that they'll disappear, but taking the time to listen to yourself is the only way to understand your needs, and therefore, what makes you happy.


2. Speak your mind, and don't overthink it

This one will likely feel very intimidating at first, but it's super important in order to build a solid foundation of trust. Yes, it's great to take time to process what's going on, but don't get stuck in overthinking it! It's ok to share in the moment and piece it together as it unfolds, and it's also ok to change your mind mid sentence as you integrate new information!


Speaking our truth creates a deep sense of self-worth and respect.

Make sure that you surround yourself with people that make you feel safe and loved when

sharing those vulnerable parts of yourself.


From my personal experience, the more I hold on to something, the bigger of an issue it becomes further down the line. That's precisely why sometimes we feel mad/annoyed at someone for no apparent reason... it's because there is a reason that just hasn't been addressed and is now snowballing!


3. Trust your gut!

If something feels off, trust yourself and voice it. We are highly sensitive and empathic beings, with the ability to sense things that our minds can't quite understand.


Your intuition is almost like a muscle that you train. The more you trust it, the more accurate it becomes!


Honouring this intuition and communicating how we feel allows for us to clear the air of any assumptions. We can't read people's minds, nor force them to be honest, but we can do our part by taking the first step and asking how they're feeling, while creating a safe space for them to be comfortable with sharing.


4. Remember your worth

Lastly, always remember your worth. You are worthy of honesty. You are worthy of freely (and respectfully!) communicating your thoughts, emotions, needs and ideas. You are worthy of being heard, seen and acknowledged. You are worthy of being yourself!



What has your experience with communication been like? Is it one of your natural strengths, or still a work in progress? Let me know in the comments below, I'd love to hear from you!


With Love,

Thaísa.

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