• Thaisa Matias de Paula

Tools To Help You In Your Self-Growth Journey

Updated: Feb 5

A transformational self growth journey is not the easy path, but definitely one that is worth it. It can be extremely painful to look at our emotional wounds, our insecurities, the trauma that we silently carry around, and the parts of us that we've neglected year after year, that are simply longing to be seen, loved and accepted.

We are all of who we are, not just the desirable parts, and that's what makes us so unique. In our shadow lies immense strength, we just need the courage to reach for it.





It may seem more comfortable to deny our pain, but what I believe to be true is that the hurt doesn't just go away. It all shows up in the ways that we behave, in the patterns that we engage in, in the situations we create in our lives and how we view ourselves and the world around us. The painful parts of our past are a big reason why we generate coping mechanisms and self limiting beliefs that hold us back from dreaming of a better future and creating the life of our dreams. In order to keeps us safe, it also keeps us trapped in fear.


Luckily, there are many tools available to help us have a smoother process, all it takes is commitment and trust! I'm still in this journey myself, and I don't think it ever ends.

Here are some of the tools that have been helping me enjoy this wild ride:




1. Reflection

I believe inner reflection to be the foundation for growth and change. If you don't truly know why you want to change, it makes it really hard to do so, because subconsciously we don't believe we should. We live in a society that constantly tells us we must change because who we are isn't good enough, and that's not the case. Desire for change must come not from a place of lack and unworthiness, but from a place of acknowledgment and understanding of our past and the behaviors we developed as children to cope with emotional pain and lack of support, as well as curiosity for what is possible for our future if we overcome certain self-limiting beliefs and patters that play out in our lives. Your self-growth journey should be fueled by deep passion for transformation, so before you listen to all the podcasts and buy all the books on "How to change", check in with yourself, ask questions and get curious about what comes up! Some of the techniques I personally use to reflect and connect with myself are:


- Meditation

For me, meditation has been a wonderful tool for grounding. It allows me to get back to the present moment, dropping all the stories my mind engages in, letting go of any resentments of the past and uncertainties of the future. In the now I am able to find peace, and in still waters the reflection is much clearer.

I really enjoy starting it off with guided meditations/nature sounds (I recommend the Insight Timer app), and then finishing off with silence. Remember that where you're at is exactly perfect, so try and let go of any expectations on how the meditation is going to look like. Many think the purpose of meditating is to have no thoughts, but to me the goal is simply to witness my thoughts rather then interact with them. One minute or 20, it's an amazing accomplishment to take time away from distractions to simply be with yourself, so feel proud of that!


- Journaling

This has been the most powerful tool in my transformation journey! As I write down whatever comes to mind, without any judgement, I go through the process of first releasing all the mind clutter, to then accessing powerful information about my inner world. I enjoy both free writing and journaling prompts!


- Time in Nature

Nature is deeply intelligent and giving. If we take the time to connect, if offers us powerful healing. Whenever I'm outside, I feel deeply grounded, supported and connected to myself and the world around me. Whenever I can, I choose to go to a park to journal and meditate (or even just to take a nap).




Healthy Lifestyle

Transitioning into a healthy lifestyle can make a huge difference in how smoothly your healing and growth process flows!


- Diet

If we're constantly eating heavy foods, our body focuses a lot of its energy into digestion and detoxification, with little remaining for processing and moving through our emotions. I personally opt for a plant based diet, but I recommend that you try out different things and see what works best for you.


- Exercising

Moving my body makes me feel energized, accomplished and productive. So good! Often we think it's all or nothing: either we do a 1 hour HIIT session everyday or we don't exercise at all. Reality is, we'll feel the benefits of exercising even if it's just 15 minutes!

I personally love dancing, so that feels like an effortless choice for me. Just get that body moving and let the feel good hormones flow!




External sources of knowledge

We can learn so much from other people's experiences and perspectives, so it can be very beneficial to curate our media consumption towards informative and positive things. There are millions of different opinions and information out there, and that's why its so important to take the time for self reflection! When you are connected to yourself, you trust your intuition and can use discernment to sort out what is right for your journey. Who are you following on social media? What movies are you watching? What message do they carry and are they adding value to your life? Those are important questions to ask yourself.


For expanding my point of view and taking in new information, I like to:


- Listen to Podcasts/Audiobooks. I particularly like to do that when I'm driving!


- Read books.


- Curate your feed

Follow informational accounts on Instagram. If I'm going to spend my time there, may as well be seeing things that add value to my life rather than where Susie went for dinner... lol


- Be Intentional

Set an intention to be present with the world around me and listen closely to what people have to share. Sometimes we discredit people that don't have a degree on something, but absolutely everyone has a powerful teaching for you.




Gratitude

By training yourself to be grateful, everything in your life becomes a gift. Instead of hardships and defeat, you see opportunities for growth and blessings in disguise. Life is noting but what you make of it, so why not make it exciting and filled with room for improvement? Why not choose to see the blessings, and feel supported and loved by all that happens for you? I know I like to see it that way!


It might be hard in the beginning and even feel a little forced, but if you have the genuine intention of seeing life through that lens, eventually you begin to shift and your default becomes gratitude! It's all about being committed and patient.



I hope you enjoyed this post and that it can offer you some support. Let me know in the comments bellow if you've tried any of them and how it has impacted your life!


With love,

Thaísa.

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